What Happens In The Countryside
by CatchingForRain
Summary: When Gerard and Frank go out for a casual stroll, they don't expect anything that crazy to happen. But c'mon, this is Party Poison and Fun Ghoul we're talking about! MCR fic. Beware of the unfunny jokes.


**A/N: Please excuse the crappiness of this one shot. The idea started as a joke between me and my friend and I decided to expand it out into a oneshot.**

**I'm sorry for any of the mistakes that may occur during this fic, as I wrote it quickly and I've got tests and everything coming up soon. Yay for exam stress~**

**This is an MCR fanfic, and no, I do not own MCR.**

**Enjoy.**

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><p>It was a decidedly normal day.<p>

The sky was clouded over, but the sun was occasionally forcing its way through openings, giving thermometers everywhere a hard time of keeping the exact temperature. There wasn't much wind, but the leaves rustled in the trees rather contentedly. A wind-chime occasionally twinkled in the distance while birds chattered between themselves.

In this rather peaceful scene, two men were walking. One, with incredibly bright red hair that shone in the sunlight, was talking animatedly, grinning at his friend. The other, a smaller raven haired man, was watching the other man, laughing occasionally.

"I'm telling you Frank, Mikey was not kidding. He really wanted that unicorn toy..." The red haired man was saying, laughing to himself.

Frank snorted, startling some birds out of a nearby tree. "And you tried to convince the fans that Mikey didn't like unicorns. You know you won't be able to hide it forever, Gerard."

Gerard paused at a crossroads, debated for a few moments, and then led the way down a sheltered lane. "I think it's too late for that." He said, chuckling to himself. "Maybe we should get him a horse for his birthday and pretend it's a unicorn."

"Glue a horn to its head?"

"What? It'd be like some wacko horse cross bred with a narwhal!" Gerard cracked up, clutching his sides.

A cow mooed loudly from the field next to the lane, making Gerard jump, and scream rather effeminately. He leapt away from the hedge, and put on a quick burst of speed, running about five metres down the lane. For several seconds he caught his breath, before turning back to face Frank.

"Crap! All this countryside stuff is getting to me. Maybe we should head back to- the fuck? Frank?" Gerard's hazel eyes scanned the lane.

Nope. No Frank in sight.

"Frank?" Gerard called once more, a slight edge to his voice.

The cow mooed again, obviously annoyed that someone had interrupted its' midday nap. In the distance, the wind chimes echoed eerily.

"Okay. _This,_ is fucking creepy." Gerard muttered to himself, before raising his voice to a shout. "Frank, for the love of that creepy ass cow, you better not be playing some joke on me. Cause this ain't fucking funny man. That cow is giving me the heebie jeebies." He glanced at the cow, which was still giving him 'the look'.

Gerard glowered back at it. It looked away. Cow – 0. Gerard – 1.

With one last scan around the area, Gerard decided that Frank definitely wasn't just hiding behind a tree. He retraced his steps back to the crossroad, covering his face from the sun as it suddenly appeared from behind a cloud. As the sunlight reached the floor, leaving a dappled effect on the tarmac, something glinted in the sunlight. Walking quickly over to where the mysterious object was, Gerard instantly recognized it as Frank's phone.

"Aw, what the hell." Gerard groaned to himself. Of course, if Frank went missing, he just had to lose the one thing that would help them find out where he was. Just great.

He also had to go missing when he was with Gerard. Never with Ray, the one who would easily be able to stay calm and figure something out. Nope. He had to get lost with Gerard, the one who would panic and instantly ring someone else to get them to help him.

Which is exactly what he did.

The phone rang twice, before being picked up by his brother.

"What's up, Gee?"

"Mikes, Frank's missing and I don't know where he is and all I did was run away from this evil cow and then I turned and then he was gone and... and... I don't know where he is!" Gerard blurted out, aware of how panicky he sounded.

He heard scuffling from the other end, as Mikey pressed the phone against his shoulder, he could also hear Ray's voice in the background asking who was on the phone.

"Alright, where are you?"

Gerard paused, looking down the country lanes for some kind of sign of his whereabouts. "I don't know..."

Mikey sighed. "Look, Gerard, I'm sure he's just playing some prank on you, you know what he's like. If you can't find him within ten minutes, call me again? Okay?"

He then hung up.

Gerard stared at his phone with a bemused expression, unsure of weather to be annoyed with his brother, or just to suck it up. He decided to be mature, and pocketing the phone. He then started down the opposite road, in search of Frank.

"Frank? Frankie?" He called out, hoping that maybe his friend would answer.

He was only a little surprised when he actually heard someone faintly reply.

"Frankie?" Gerard called again, running forward a few paces. "You better not be pulling some lameass joke on me!"

Gerard ran down the small lane, glancing around for his bandmate. He was then suddenly struck by the fact he was no longer surrounded by trees.

"Eh?"

Gerard's brain clocked the change of scenery, and enforced a sudden stop in movement. His feet stopped moving... except he didn't. He slipped forward, his battered converse not having enough grip remaining to keep him rooted to one place. Five seconds was all it took for his face to meet the floor.

Hello painfully solid concrete ground, how you doin' today?

"Owie." Gerard whined, clutching the side of his face. His hand came away with blood. "Crap. My face is going to match my hair." He pulled his jacket off, and with a regretful look, placed it against his cheek to stop the bleeding.

"Gerard? Are you there?" Came Frank's voice from... Uh... Somewhere.

Gerard quickly stood up, looking around for his short friend. "Frank? The hell are you?" He glanced around himself, and noticed he was standing in what must have been an old abandoned farmyard. A decrepit old house stood at the north facing edge of a large concrete yard, a barn at the other end. At the centre of the yard stood a old well, it's bucket long since fallen down. A few birds skipped across the concrete, but quickly flew away as Gerard approached them. He did a quick lap of the yard, not finding a single clue to where Frank was.

"Frank, where are you?"

"Well, you see... I... Uh." Frank coughed, and the sound echoed around the farmyard rather creepily.

Gerard shuddered, wishing he hadn't fallen over so that he didn't have to use his jacket as a lousy plaster. "Frank, seriously, where are you? I'm bleeding and I want some freaking coffee." A sassy tone started creeping into his voice, and he had to resist the urge to place his free hand on his hip. The last time he'd done that, Mikey had 'accidently' put superglue on his palm beforehand. Long story short, he'd been forced to go the hospital so they could remove the superglue from his skin.

There was a sloshing sound, what sounded a lot like someone trying to claw their way up a wall, some cursing and a loud splash. There was a moment of silence, before Frank mumbled something.

"Frank, I have not a clue what you just said."

"I'M STUCK DOWN THE STUPID WELL AND I'M TOO SHORT TO GET BACK OUT."

An awkward silence descended on the farmyard as Gerard's brain processed Frank's last stastement. Frank was stuck. Down a well. Which he was too short to get out of. He tried not to laugh, her really did, but when you're in a situation that bizarre, it's hard not to.

Within a few seconds, he was choking on air, unable to contain his laughter.

"DON'T LAUGH! IT'S NOT FREAKIN' FUNNY!" Frank cried out, sounding exasperated. Although from the slight mockingness in his tone, it sounded like he was close to laugher himself.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Gerard told him between breaths, as he jogged over to the well. Once glance down, and he was back into hysterics.

Frank was stood at the bottom of the well, looking upwards with the most sorrowful expression on his face. His jeans and scuffed trainers were completely soaked and he had his left foot stuck inside the old well bucket.

"Geraaaard." Frank pouted, sticking out his bottom lip in an incredibly childish gesture.

"Sorry, Frank..." Gerard peered over the side of the well again, this time he was able to keep the majority of his composure. "But, how did you even get down there?"

"Can't you get me out first?" Frank glowered up at the red headed singer. "This ain't the most comfiest place to stay..."

Gerard blinked. "Hang on, let me call Mikey. Maybe he'll know how to get you out of your little predicament." He grinned wolfishly before walking away from the well, holding in his laughter.

Frank watched him walk away and waited for the few seconds as Gerard's mobile connected.

"Damn, answer phone." Gerard muttered before quickly leaping into an incredibly fast recount of Frank's 'incident'. "Yo, Mikey- or Ray if you've suddenly decided to start creeping on Mikey's answer phone messages- I need some help. Frank's managed to expertly fall down a well-"

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. LEAVE ME ALONE."

"-and I was just ringning if you'd like to come and help, seeing as he's got himself pretty damn stuck."

"I take offense."

"Call me back when you get this." Gerard finished cheerily, hanging up the phone and skipping back over to the well.

Frank glowered moodily up at him. "I hate you."

"Aw, Frankie, don't tell the only help you have that you hate them!" Gerard pouted, deciding to use the time he had to annoy Frank without any chance of retaliation to his advantage.

Frank leapt up the side of the well in an attempt to smack Gerard's arm. In a sudden turn of events that neither of the two men expected, Gerard dodged leaving Frank to latch onto the top to the well.

"Dude, how did you jump that high?" Gerard spluttered out, staring at his friend.

Frank blinked, attempting to keep his grip on the wall. "I don't know!"

"You're like some kind of midget kangaroo!"

"Thanks, man."

"No problem."

"Can you help me up now, please?"

"Oh. Sure!"

Gerard leaned down to grab Frank's other arm, and with a joint effort, lots of swearing, Frank nearly falling back down the well twice and Gerard accidently letting go to point out a "purdy birdy", Frank returned to the realms of the above ground.

"I'M ALIVE!" Frank cried out gleefully, spinning in a circle and knocking Gerard flat to the ground with his spinning arms.

"Frank!" Gerard yelped as he pulled himself up from the ground. "You smell."

"Yeah, I think that well was used for... uh... other things."

Gerard stepped away, trying to steer clear of catching onto that smell. It was then that his phone rang. Mikey.

Except when he picked up, it was Ray that instantly started talking full pelt down the speaker.

"Gerard! Where are you? What the hell do you mean by Frank's stuck down a well? I mean, he's stupid but he's not that stupid and I mean really? HOW DO YOU FALL DOWN A HOLE? Mikey's just getting the car ready and then we're both coming out to fetch you so you need to tell me where you are and where Frank is and what you're doing and-"

It took several minutes for Gerard to convince that Frank had successfully been excavated from the well, and that they were both fine and that none of their limbs were in immediate threat of dropping off. Ray was still suspicious until Frank to phone away from Gerard and quickly explained to Ray in as calmer voice as he could find. He then repeated himself once again when Mikey took his phone back; Ray was too hysterical to be understood, apparently.

Mikey understood quicker. "Frank, how the hell did you fall down a well?"

"Uh. Gravity?"

"GRAVITY, DON'T MEAN TO MUCH TO ME."

"Shut up, Gerard!"

"Sorry. Just because it means quite a bit to you."

Frank glowered at the singer, who was smiling innocently, and continued his conversation with Mikey. "Anyway, I think I just slipped or something. It's not like I meant to fall down there or anything."

"I'm pretty sure no one wakes up and thinks 'Hey, I wanna end this day in some stinky well!' Frankie." Mikey replied sarcastically.

Frank growled. "Don't make me draw on your unicorn poster again!" He then hung up, feeling rather pleased with his threat.

Gerard glanced at his friend. "He's so going to kill you for that. In fact, he's probably hiding them somewhere as we speak."

"Well, he's got a head start. He has until we get home and then it's _on._" Frank laughed evilly.

Gerard raised an eyebrow. "First things first though. You need a shower, man."

"Oh, yeah." Frank sniffed his jumper sleeve. "Man, I _stink_!"

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><p><strong>Eheheheh. So. Was it as bad as you thought it was going to be? xD<strong>

**Maybe one day in the distant future I'll go back over it again and expand it and whatnot. But for now, please excuse this fanfic for being just a bit of fun and some randomness.**

**If you haven't read my other fanfics, I recommend you do that now. They're 304575702370410160837 times better. Thankoo :3**


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